Marbles
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a Basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the Store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
"Hello Barry, how are you today?"
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them Peas. They sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"
"Fine Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.
"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those Peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.
"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one Like this at home?", the store owner asked.
"Not zackley but almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you And next trip this way let me look at that red Marble", Mr. Miller told the boy.
"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over To help me. With a smile she said, "There are two Other boys like him in our community, all three are in Very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain With them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they Always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all. And he sends them home with a bag of produce for a Green marble or an orange one, when they come on their Next trip to the store." I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with This man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and Their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, Each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho Community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that Evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed To accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we Fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own Warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years Ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles.
With her eyes glistening, she Took my hand and led me to the casket. "Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you About. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about colour or size....they came to pay their debt." "We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho." With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work.
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing-along song on the radio.
Your keys found right where you left them
Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did...
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!
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Things Trek Characters Would Say in Hell
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a coal-shoveler!"
*Janeway: "Excuse me, Satan? You want to get out of my face?"
*
Hoard of Beautiful, Sex-Starved Women: "Oh! Our love-slave has arrived!"
Kim: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
*
Garak: "Well, I think I can probably find something here that will make it all -- wait! Is this suit polyester?? AHHHHHHHHHH!"
*
Data: "Yeah, yeah. I know. Wear the pink outfit and sit in my chair."
*
Seven: "I fail to understand why the only available nourishment here is chocolate bon-bons, ice-cream and beer. And why has my outfit become so tight?"
*
Tuvok: "I see. So it's either that I must agree to say, 'Oh, Captain Proton, you're such a wonderful specimen of the best of in each of us, and oh, how I wish I could be you,' or I get thrown into the vat of burning tar...How long do I have to decide?"
*
Chakotay: "Hey! That jewelry looks like it was made from the bones of my dead ancestors!"
*
Torres: "Oh! At last! My feet are warm!"
*
Picard: "Mrs. Troi, would you PLEASE get your hand off my ass?"
*
Damar: What! Only Shirley Temples? NOOOO!
*
Kira: Dukat is to be my eternal comanion? I don't think so.
*
Sisko: I'm the Emissary. What am I doing here?
*
Damar to Dukat: I'd like to to toss that little schmuck Vorta...Hell, there are no airlocks, sir!
*
Member of Species 8472: "Raghkneakyawlrowlfhaf!!"
*
Tom Paris: Hey B'Elanna, it beats that ice cube enviroment we were in together!
B'Elanna: Shut up you P'tuQ helmboy!
*
Borg Queen: Um, excuse me, but why can't I assimalate anyone? That's not fair! MMMMMOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!
*
Innocent security dude: Hey I didn't wanna die yet! I gotta find out if there really was a thing between
Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway!
*
Lore: Ahh. Home sweet home!
*
Garak: Would you mind adjusting the humidity? My scales are flaking!
*
Dukat: Ziyal, stop looking at me like like that...AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
*
Dumar: What do you mean the only thing to drink is water?!
*
Dukat: Hey, why aren't I ascending to heaven? Oh yeah, the sins...
*
Ziyal: By the way, it's Ziyal, Z-I-Y-A-L, OK?! Oops! I blew a blood gasket, hold on a second...
*
Anyone: "Engineering! What's up with the environmental controls?"
*
Q: ::snap...nothing happens:: "Hey! What happened to my omnipotence?"
*
Harry: "Anyone want to hear the new tune I composed on my clarinet? It's called The Hellish Blues."
*
Wesley (to the devil): "Can I look around your bridge?"
*
Picard: "Oh no! The only people in sight are all...children!!!!! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!"
*
Tuvok: "Mister Neelix, I did not expect to see you in such a position of...responsibility."
*
Janeway: What do you mean you only have tea?
*
Harry: Hey, what is this place?
Satan: Oh, hell. What's he doing here?
*
Chakotay: Does this mean that I really screwed up? Hey, where's Kathryn?
*
Ziyal: (nervously) "Daddy?"
*
Kira: "There's no Hell in Bajoran theology."
*
Dukat: "Satan, buddy! Give me five!"
*
Kes: "I am so outta here. Anyone need a push before I leave?"
*
Tom: "Hey, Dad."
*
Tuvok: "Greetings, T'Pel. It has been a long, long, LONG time. What's with the football helmet and oven mitts?"
*
Harry: "It was a lot quieter the last time I was here."
*
McCoy: "Well, you did once tease him about looking like Satan."
Kirk: "It was just a joke. And why is he leering at me like that?"
McCoy: "I don't know, but better you than--uh oh."
*
Dax: "Hmm, deja vu."
*
Odo: "I'm melting!!! I'm melting!!"
*
Bashir: "Kukalaka, no!!!"
*
Worf: (sees all his dead wives/girl-friends) "No!!!!!"
*
Seven: "Hell is irrelevant. Damn it's hot...Where is that zipper?"
*
Chakotay: "My people have a saying..."
Janeway: "Nooo! Nooo! Make him stop, PLEEEEASE!"
*
Picard: "Q, show yourself."
*
Picard: "What do you mean you only have coffee?"
*
Spock: "Now, where did I put those marshmelons? Ahhh, there they are...hold still, Doctor..."
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a marsh melon dispenser!"
*
Ezri: "Hey! HELP! Get me out of this barrel of gagh!"
*
Tom: "Excuse me, B'Elanna, I -- wait a second -- why are you in the Captain's sonic shower singing 'Feel Like Makin' Love?'"
*
Worf: "OK, who's the wiseguy who put Teletubbies in my calisthenics program!?"
*
Kirk: "ALIMONY??"
*
Jadzia: "Oh, crap. They replaced me with Ally McTrill!"
*
Quark: "Morn joined Syntheholics Anonymous?! I'm ruined!!"
*
Brunt, FCA: "Grand Nagus QUARK??"
*
Janeway: "Great. We make it all the way back to Earth and Starbucks is out of business!"
*
Picard: "WHAT??? Even less hair???"
Deanna Troi: "WHAT??? Even more hair???"
*
Wesley: "Why am I in hell????"
Satan: "Oh nooo, it's that Crusher!!!! Since when am I the one being punished???"
*
The EMH-Doctor: "D-o-o-o-n-'-t-t t-t-o-u-c-h-h-h t-h-h-a-a-at off-f-f b-b-bu-u-ut-t-t-o-n-n-n !-!-!"
Data: "M-m-m-i-i-in-ne-e ei-th-th-the-r-r-r-r.-.-.-"
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Canadian temperature conversion chart.
70°C above
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
60°C above
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
50°C above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.
40°C above
English cars won't start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.
32°C above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
20°C above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
15°C above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0°C degrees
People in Miami all die...
Canadians lick the flagpole.
20°C below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.
40°C below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Guides of Canada are selling cookies door to door.
60°C below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80°C below
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.
100°C below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
297°C below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
460°C below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale)
People in Canada start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500°C below
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup
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Naughty?
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I'm Hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband: You don't love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please...come on
Wife: Alright, I'll do it.
Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Wife: I can't find it.
Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife: There! Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Oh yes, that's good.
Wife: Now go to sleep and from now on when you want the window open, get up and do it yourself.
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Not what you would have expected
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything,but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops.
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Happy Father's Day
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Don't say I didn't warn ya
The following caption pretty much sums up my day.....
"Quick! For the love of God and your sanity everyone stand behind me. Honeylynn hasn't had a coffee today and she's about to explode!"
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Names 'n' things
YOUR NAME
(1) The singular boring question: What is your name? Honeylynn - and no before anybody asks, my parents weren't on anything the day I was born. My parents wanted a different name since it seemed that every other kid was named "Elizabeth", "Susan" (or variations there of), et al.... Also my parents were living in PMQ's (Personal Married Quarters), it seemed that everyone named their kids the same names.
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? Hmm.. Richard, Leonard or Dylan
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you? Absolutely not. I was tortured by others as a small child in school why would I do that to any of my children
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? I'm not quite sure, to honest. Besides, who'd want my name in trade?
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? They hyphen it Honey-Lynn, or they call me Honeylee, Honeybee.
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? How about dropping my first name?
DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? Yep
(8) Do you think God has a gender? No.
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion? depends.
(10) Do you believe in organised religion? I do, but not many people think I have the right to believe in whatever religion I choose
(11) Where do you think we go when we die? Hmm.. good question
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? nope
HUMOUR
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh? Not very hard, if I find something funny, I'll laugh
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most? Will, the kids, various peeps on lj and GJ
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? I probably would, as long it doesn't involve anything anti-Semitic, racist, about someone's sexual preference or about challenged people. That's not funny and just sick and wrong.
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? I loathe anti-Semitic and racist jokes.
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Too many to list
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? Hmmm... I guess I have to start to re-read my journals.
MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? I don't dance
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? Hmm...let's see I'm NOT a big fan of country music
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? "Louie, Louie"
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head? Short A Couple A' Bob (especially after payday)
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Never really thought about it
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? Never really thought about it
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Too many to list
MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Too many to list.
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? sometimes
(28) Who's your favourite Star Wars character? Just one?
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Comedies, Science Fiction, Mystery & Horror
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? teen & chick flicks.
FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Without a doubt - taste
(32) What's your favourite kind of cheese? Let's just say cheese - especially cheesecake
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? Time to bump off the head rat *^_^
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? Hmm good question? Would someone please pass the egg foo young.
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? No.
COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC? Both PC & Mac - don't ask me to count them all
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works? I know enough, 'sides if it breaks down I have my own built in techie ..er I just get my husband to take care of it
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? yes
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? No not really
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? no
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? Only when dealing with pms
(42) What do you love most about the other gender? Their sense of humour.
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender? Have we got enough time to sit down and actually speak on this subject?
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender? Read last answer
CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? depends
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most? Hmm...I already have 2 items signed by Richard Belzer. Unfortunately I wasn't there to actually get them first hand.
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Never really thought of it
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? Never really thought of it. Why who do you think I should use?
49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? Wha'?
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? Meebee, but I'm not gonna say
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich? Good lord, no.
NUMBERS
(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Am I supposed to laugh?
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? Am I? Really now....?
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? Yes I have a SIN (Social Insurance Number)
(55) Do you actually know your IP address? Yes
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? yeah
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? I know my postal code, unfortunately so do all of my creditors too - I have this love hate thing going on around payday... I hate to (but faithfully) pay my bills, and my creditors love to receive my money
(58) Are there too many numbers floating around in our lives? Definitely - big time
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? huh? My brain's hurting now
(60) What do you think of pi? Of course I do, but it's better a la mode
LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? Am I supposed to be frightened?
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Dunno, never really had that problem
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? I met my husband on a "blind date"
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? I never had that problem, but my husband, son and ex-boyfriend do share the first names
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? Never put any thought into it
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? hmm
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? hmm
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? Will must because we've been married nearly 13 years now
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? Those could be fighting words
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? Highly illogical if you ask me.
POSSESSIONS
(71) What is your favourite possession? Too many too list
(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most? Are people included into the equation
(73) How badly do you want it? I'll live if I don't get it.
(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? yes
(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? Huh?....really now.
HOLIDAYS
(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoys you? Only if it's the same 4 songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? I'm not gonna answer that on the bases I'm almost 34
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? I was dress normally but one year I was asked by one man "what I was" my reply, "I was a homicidal manic, they dress just like everybody else." The man nearly pissed himself laughing - when I asked him why he was laughing at me, he told me he was a Homicide Detective for the city police - go me!
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? A little rag-doll
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? Victoria Day & Halloween
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August - what should be put there? Yes there is.... It's called Natal Day or Civil Holiday. The 1st Monday in August. Who writes these things anyways?
MEMORIES
(82) How good is your short-term memory? great
(83) How good is your long-term memory? Even better
(84) What is your earliest memory? Walking into a wall at 10 months old.
(85) What is your happiest memory? My wedding day.
(86) What is your strangest memory? Being in recovery after giving birth (three times) - my body went completely stone cold.
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize? not enough time to list them all
(88) What movie makes/made you cry? I'm not one for sappy movies
(89) What book makes/made you cry? I'm more into History, Mystery & Science Fiction books
(90) What song makes/made you cry? http://pray.wfrn.com/iwasthere.html Yes, this is almost 6 years old but every time I listen to it I start crying
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Dirty Mind?
I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.
Now I ride on escalators all the time.
I took my fingers and slowly,
and gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice..I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.
I was done.
And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.
---------------------------------
I squeezed it gently at first,
then a little bit harder.
There seemed to be more and more of it
I moved it towards my lips.
It was a strange and new sensation for me.
I put it in my mouth
and moved it around and around with my tongue.
The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out.
It was quite an experience.
The 1st time I tasted toothpaste.
---------------------------------
They were both round and firm.
There was only the slightest difference between the two.
I took one in my hand and twisted it hard.
I used my other hand to grab the other one
and twist it hard the other way.
Now there's a brighter light bulb in the living room.
---------------------------------
It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid it between my fingers
until I got to the end of it.
I was turning it on.
It became firm in my hands,
and the end was wet.
Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.
Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.
I knew it could be done.
I wanted to try but I didn't know if I could do it.
I called my friend.
He said he knew how to do it and would teach me.
He put his arms around me and started.
I watched nervously in the mirror.
He finally finished and pulled back slowly.
I felt relieved that it was over.
I hate neckties.
---------------------------------
It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting.
I wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it.
I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better.
I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it.
But I decided to put ketchup on my burger
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Survey
Just killing time
** Now **
Dress: Black T-shirt, sweat pants, socks
Makeup: no make-up
Mood: I'm too tired to have a mood
Music/CD: Great Big Sea - The hard and the Easy
Taste: Am I supposed to be tasty?
Hair: Red, shoulder lenght
Annoyance: Let's not go ther umkay
Smell: my cuppa (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot!)
Thing I ought to be doing: Baking some muffins (scratch receipe).
Desktop Picture: Main computer (in dinning room) Elrond/Haldir (manip). Secondary computer (also in dinnig room): Celeborn/Glorfindel (manip). My computer (my bedroom): Elrond/Haldir/Celeborn/Glorfindel/Legolas (manip). Yes, I know there's a pattern but what can I say I'd had a wee bit of fun with PSP7
Favourite Band: Bee Gees - no this is not a mistake. Got a problem with that!?
Book: I'm reading 4 books: "V for Vendetta", "The Soddit", "The Sillymarillion" and "The Diary of Anne Frank"
CD In Stereo: (on tv stand) Great Big Sea Road Rage, (in the computer) The hard and the Easy
DVD In Player: Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (going through Elf withdrawls - haven't watched in quite awhile)
Colour Of Toenails: au natural
Refreshment: Coffee, tea or Mountain Dew
Worry: Should I be?
Crush: Crush you mean the pop right? There's Pineapple Crush (from the Newfoundland store - downtown Halifax), Soda Mousse (Cream Soda). Now, if you mean peoples....you mean I can hurt people? Cool. :P No injury involved, huh? Well then it would have to be Stickboy
Favourite Celebrity: Hugo Weaving, Craig Parker, Marton Csokas, Sir Ian McKellen, Sir Ian Holm, Patrick Stewart, Sean Connery, Billy Connolly, Brent Spiner, just to name a few.
** Da Last Person **
You Touched: Touch what is my question? Or are you asking if I'm touched - well then I'd have to agree with ya there - there's definitely room for a healthy level of insanity *veg* 'sides, you wants to be sane nowadays?
You Talked to: Myself. I caught myself doing something completely stupid :P
You Hugged: Da kids as they headed up to bed
You Instant messaged? Nobody's on tonight
You Kissed: More like I was kissed - da kids - sloppy wet kisses
You Yelled At: Da girls (up the stairwell, in response to their "good nights")
You Had A Crush On: I wouldn't call it a crash, but marriage has been a challenge - but my mind's so foggy I don't really care - so that's not the answer for this question, but hey here's my answer. :P
Who Broke Your Heart: Not broken, still beating 72 beats per second *tickty tickty tickty*>
** Favourite **
Food: Cheesecake, Chocolate, Chocolate Cheesecake, Chocolate covered coffee beans, Chinese, Japanese, Italian
Drink: Coffee
Colour: Black
CD: I have many favourites, but I'll say Great Big Sea - The hard and the Easy
Shoes: Black Shoes, Black ankle boots, black sneeks
Candy: I haven't had any candy in a looooonnnnnggggggg time
Animal: cats (can't have any 'cos the fam. allergic to them)
TV Show: Doctor Who, Lost and Law & Order series
Movie: LotR Trilogy, The matrix, PotC, After the Deluge, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Song: Great Big Sea - Come and I Will Sing You (The Twelve Apostles)
Vegetable: Green Pepper
Fruit: Lemons, grapefruit, Strawberries, blueberries.
** Who do you want to **
Kill: Cheesecake sounds good right about now
Slap: Whom should I slap now? And can I slap them silly with a wet codfish?
Tickle: Nobody in particular
Look Like: I never really noticed
Be Like: Am I supposed to be like somebody else?
Talk To: Never really thought about it
Marry: Marry? I married to Stickboy. You mean it's alright to a male harem? Nah! Will's the only one for me, 'side one man is bitchy enough during cleaning stations - nuff side.
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But why is the rum gone?
 | You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow, You are definitely quirky and often mistaken for mad but if anyone is truly paying attention they can see there is method to your madness. You try really hard to be bad but in the end you tend to do the right thing.
What kind of Pirate are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
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70 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me
1. DO YOU SNORE? No
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? Lover AND a fighter
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? spider
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? No, I was more into Smurfs
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV? It's phoney
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? Yeah I guess
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? Don't know, I was too young to notice
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? no
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? grey
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nah
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? Good Lord, no I like the ground.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS? Shhh.... If I tell you, I'll have to caffeinate you
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Right now... any place warm. Man, it's freezing here *brrrrrrr*
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY? If you say so
15. HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI? Yes, yum
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"? nope
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? yes
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? Don't eat tootsies pops
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? Do I have too?
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE? No
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? *meh*
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? Already married
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? Certain cold meds, some food allergies.
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"? all the time
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE? Elvis is not dead, he just went home.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? no
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? over hard
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB? Not all. Actually my youngest daughter is quite smart for someone who's a blonde
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? Hmmm....? Good question. Maybe Elvis took it with him when he left?
33. WHAT TIME IS IT? 2334hrs
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? Yeah I do by there really isn't enough space to type them all down.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING? No comment
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? Last Thursday morning
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? both
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? What!? No comment
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? My neck never kisses and tells
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? no
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? Me? Addictions? Those who know me know my addictions
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? CREAMY
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? no
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? yes but let's not go there.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY? Twice, so far.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? *meh*
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? yes
48. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES? Black, blue, silver
49. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I don't remember
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? *meh*
51. WHO'S BETTER? Who? What? Huh?
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC? Hmm...? Allow me to look into my Palantír
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"? Yes, yes I have. Have you?
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? nah
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? I don't steal
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? no thanks, I like to walk
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? It's okay I guess
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? sometimes
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? yeah
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND? No, cats are
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? Depends on the situation
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? nope
63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? of course
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? You bloody well wanna believe it! It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (and damp too)
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? mac and cheese
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? not really
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? Please don't get me started.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? no
70. FAVOURITE BAND AT THE MOMENT? Well there's GBS, Flogging Molly, Gaelic Storm just to name a few
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For Whom the Bell Tolls
One Sunday morning a young lady is out shopping when she receives a call notifying her that her Grandfather had died. She immediately races over to visit her Grandmother..
"Grandma," she sobs, "how did it happen? Grandfather seemed so healthy
and full of the joy of living when I last saw him and now barely two days later he's dead."
"Well", replies the old lady, "the truth is he had a heart attack while we were having sex this morning."
"Sex! He was having sex at the age of 94?! isn't that asking for trouble?"
"Oh no." Granny replied "You see we had a routine every Sunday morning. we used to keep time with the church bells coming from a church around the corner. In with the "dings", out with the "dongs." She paused for a moment to wipe her eyes.
"And if it wasn't for that damn ice cream truck, your Grandfather would still be alive today."
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Picture this....
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new . Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother...It says:
"Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle. . . it makes your nose look too short."
Love, Grandma
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Banned books
#1 The Bible
#2 Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#3 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#4 The Koran
#5 Arabian Nights
#6 Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
#7 Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
#8 Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#9 Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#11 The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
#12 Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#16 Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
#23 Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce
#26 Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
#27 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#28 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#29 Candide by Voltaire
#30 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#31 Analects by Confucius
#32 Dubliners by James Joyce
#33 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#34 Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#35 Red and the Black by Stendhal
#36 Das Capital by Karl Marx
#37 Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
#38 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#39 Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence (I wanna see the movie, but every time it's on someone else decides that I don't need to watch it)
#40 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
#41 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
#42 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
#43 Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#44 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#45 Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
#46 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#47 Diary by Samuel Pepys
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
#54 Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus
#55 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#56 Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker
#58 Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by François Rabelais
#68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#69 The Talmud
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler (weird and twisted little man)
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck
#78 Popol Vuh
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#80 Satyricon by Petronius
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
#96 Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud
#98 Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood (I found her writing dry, but what can ya do when the teacher wants a 4 page essay due before March Break)
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
#101 Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines
#102 Émile Jean by Jacques Rousseau
#103 Nana by Émile Zola
#104 Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
#105 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#106 Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#107 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#108 Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
#109 Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
#110 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
#111 Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, Judy Blume
#112 the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling
#113 The Merchant of Venice, William Shakespeare (Shakespeare a Jr/Sr High School staple - so who are these people trying to kid?)
#114 A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle
#115 The Witches of Worm, Zilpha Keatly Snyder
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The Cab Ride
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry.
Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep.
But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night.
I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.
"Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice.
I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened.
A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one
had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said.
I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."
"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive
through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."
I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove where she and her husband lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow down in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers," I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware -- beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you ...But they will always remember how you made them feel.
(Author Unknown)
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Martha Stewart vs. the Real Women's Way:
Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the sofa with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix up."
Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just too bad. Please recite with me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Real Women's Way: Celery? What's that?
Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith Frozen Pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't do it.
Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it's you are now BLIND!
Martha's way #8: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbour to do it.
And finally the most important tip......
Martha's way #9: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?
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Irish Viagra
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went".
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it into his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"?
"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But as sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
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I've just gotta say this.......
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Sounds for the Space-set
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Cute and slightly twisted
While completing some "homework" (for this course I'm on) up in the bedroom (about 2 weeks ago), I hear Will listening to a song called "Poor Hamster". At first, I thought it was someone idea of a sick joke - picking on a poor defenceless animal until he showed me the site Poor Hamster description (the song sing performed by Louis Gentile's children).
Then I took a peek over at Louis Gentile's site (which also has a version in German) and couldn't help but get the giggles.
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Hoist the Colours
Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die.
The king and his men stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her bones.
The seas be ours and by the powers
where we will -- we'll roam.
Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colours high.
heave, ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die .
Some men have died and some are alive
And others sail on the sea.
With the keys to the cage, and the devil to pay,
We lay to Fiddler's Green!
Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colours high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die.
The bell has been raised from its watery grave,
Do you hear its sepulchral tone?
A call to all, pay heed the squall
And turn your sails toward home!
Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colours high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never say we die.
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Grey Grin
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlour getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.
One woman leaned over to the other and said,
"Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket!"
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Astrological After-sex Comments.
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
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Haldir
| Which LotR-man would be your match? |
 Guard and guide... Dressed in grey, Haldir of Lorien takes your breath away with his eyes and tantalizing voice. He'll be away from home often, off to the borders to insult Dwarves and be insulted in turn. There's coolness and aloofness on the outside, but if you are able to unleash the fire within, you will be one happy girl! One thing: if you want to keep him, tell him not to wear red when going to battle. Take this quiz! |
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