Out of the mouths of babes
Me: "A cookie for your thoughts."
She started to giggle, but soon turned back to a serious look then asked me something that I wasn't really prepared for...
Sharon: "Mummy, I don't understand something and was wondering if you could answer it?"
Me: "If I can, shoot."
Sharon: "Why can't gay people rather same sex people marry in a church."
Me: "Well, there are some people are afraid that if same sex couples who marry it would be a travesty and bring downfall on the church. Then there are those who believe that homosexuality is wrong in general. What else do you want to know?"
Sharon: "Well I was reading in the newspaper that some church somewhere in the States that they are dead set against it and if you ask me it doesn't seem right, not one little bit."
Me: "Well Squeaker, that's just it. It's not right, but you can't tell someone otherwise."
Then Katlynn (my 12.5 yr old) came into the kitchen and added her 2 cents.
Kat: "These small-minded people are afraid that people who aren't like them are freaks and need to be on some deserted island and left to die or something, just because they're different."
I look at Kat.
Me: "Kat....."
Kat: "Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, but so is the way people of alternate lifestyles used to be treated and some still being treated today. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with it. It shouldn't matter their gender but that fact that you love the other person."
Sharon: "These mean people are stupid-heads!"
Me: "Well other then being ‘stupid-heads' what else do you think?"
Sharon: "I think that they should be able to marry and have babies just like other people, if they can."
She stood there for a few minutes more (playing with the butter in the potatoes) before speaking again.
Sharon: "Mummy. What if one day it turns out that one of us turns out to be gay. Will you and Daddy still think and love of us the same way?"
Me: "Silly girl... *rab* of course we would. Just because you choose a partner who might be the same gender as yourself it doesn't make you any less of a person. And if one day that's your choice, I'd be happy for you and don't let other people tell you otherwise."
She then pushed back her glasses and headed towards the table for supper.
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Today's lunch
(Don't blame me, a friend sent this to me)
This guy walks into a bar at lunchtime and notices a sign behind the bar.
Today's Lunch Special
Chicken salad sandwiches.........$3.50
Tuna salad sandwiches..............$2.50
Handjobs....................................$35.00
He approaches the rather good-looking waitress behind the bar and asks her, "Are the one who gives the handjobs?"
She eyes him up and down, smiles her sexiest smile and says, "Why yes I am."
He smiles back and says to her, "Well, wash your hands please. I'd like a chicken salad sandwich."
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A Potato Story
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato, either. She would get plenty of exercise and eat well so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow, and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs.Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.........................
A COMMON TATER
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More random giggles
Chicken
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
Not again
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily
on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a
Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Dead? Me? Really?
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
Line up
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
A little water with your wine?
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Parking can be hell
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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Bravo Zulu
Ship's crew saves whale
Exhausted animal weighed down by fishing gear
JENNIFER TAPLIN
The Daily News (http://www.hfxnews.ca/index.cfm?sid=42629&sc=89)
She was stuck and injured. Good thing HMCS St. John's was nearby.
The crew of the Halifax-based ship saved a humpback whale snagged in fishing nets on the Grand Banks near Newfoundland on Wednesday.
They got the call from a fishing boat, said Cmdr. Brian Santarpia in a phone interview yesterday.
"We went and had a look and, sure enough, there was an orange fishing float, and attached to the fishing float was a 30-foot-long humpback whale."
They couldn't tell the sex of the whale, but Santarpia called it a "she" yesterday. On first glance, the whale didn't look too injured, just tired from trying to swim away from the nets, he said. Plus, they could tell there was something weighing it down.
"It could only go up far enough to get a breath of air and it was trying to go down to free itself."
They launched a boat with three sailors in it to have a look. The sailors tried to untangle the lines around the whale and winch in one of the lines. They didn't want to pull too hard, so they launched a second boat and put a line underneath the whale between the two boats.
"It turned out there was a whole string of crab pots (underneath) ... and each one of them has a 50-pound anchor attached to it."
By the time they got to dislodging the crab pots, the whale was exhausted.
"It was barely moving at all," Santarpia said. "It was pretty safe at that point, so we decided to put two divers in the water."
Meanwhile, the entire ship's company was on the upper deck watching the drama and looking for ways to help.
"We must of had 30 people on the fo'c'sle heaving on lines," he said. "Everyone who didn't have a part wanted to have a part.
They watched as the divers swam up behind the whale and cut the ropes.
"And she swam away," he said. "It was pretty amazing."
The divers saw minor damage to the whale from the ropes around her fin, he said. The rescue took about two hours.
The St. John's is on a fisheries patrol right now, isn't used to rescuing whales.
"We've got some young trainees on board and I turned to a young fellow beside me and it's his first trip to sea, and I said 'have you ever saved a whale?' and he said 'no.' And I said 'no me either.'"
St. John's will be back home at the end of the month.
Some might think why would they waste their time saving a whale, it's only a whale? That's not the point. The point is they were in the vicinity and heard a call for help, granted it's not what they expected but they got the job done nonethless.
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Random find
----------------Girls----------------
-----------are like apples------
-------on trees. The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.-----
---The boys dont want to reach---
--for the good ones because they--
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that arent as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something is wrong with them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to
---- come along, the one who's-
----------- brave enough to-----
---------------climb all-----------------
---------------the way-------------
--------------to the top---
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Bikini wax was almost fatal
Diabetic developed severe infection
By HELEN BRANSWELL The Canadian Press
TORONTO - It's the story of a Brazilian wax that went south, a drive to get rid of the hair down under that nearly cost a young Australian woman her life.
Her doctors say it's also a cautionary tale for other aficionados of the minimalist look - a warning that maximum depilation can potentially lead to debilitation, especially when it's being performed on someone with a weakened immune system.
"I think the message . . . of this case is just to say: ‘Hey guys, you know, we need a bit of a reality check here,' " says Dr. Lindsay Grayson, an infectious diseases specialist with Austin Health and the University of Melbourne.
"This might be fine and mostly pretty innocuous and fun, but for some people it's not that. It can be quite serious."
The "some people" Grayson refers to are people whose immune systems are weakened - or compromised, in the language of the medical community. That typically encompasses people with HIV-AIDS, those on immune-suppressing drugs because they've undergone an organ transplant or people receiving cancer therapy. And in this case, it also refers to someone with poorly controlled diabetes.
The person in question is an unidentified 20-year-old Australian woman with Type 1 diabetes - the kind that requires regular insulin shots - who underwent a disastrous Brazilian bikini wax. Her physicians report on her startling case in an upcoming issue of the journal Clinical Infectious Diseases.
During the waxing procedure, which was performed by a trainee, the woman experienced some vulval bleeding, suggesting tearing of the skin. And in the two weeks after, she developed symptoms of a worsening infection - pain, swelling, redness and discharge.
By the time she sought medical help she was reporting excruciating pain, fever, a rash that extended up to the chest and neck and severe difficulty urinating. Examination showed her external genitalia were "grossly swollen." Doctors couldn't do an internal examination because the woman was in too much pain; one was eventually performed after she'd been put under general anesthesia.
Her condition was so severe treating doctors thought she had necrotizing fasciitis - flesh-eating disease - and they urgently put her on a regime of heavy-duty antibiotics.
The woman didn't have that rapidly progressing infection, caused by some strains of Streptococcus bacteria. But she did have a life-threatening Streptococcus pyogenes infection with what looked like a flare-up of a pre-existing herpes infection.
"If she had not received appropriate therapy, she would have died," Grayson said in an interview from Melbourne.
The antibiotics did the trick, though, and the woman recovered. She was released from hospital after 10 days and was able to return to work after 21.
But this tale of hair scares doesn't end there.
Six months later, the woman again tried to denude her nether regions, this time eschewing wax and turning to the razor. Razors often make small tears in the skin and a few days later she was back in hospital with a second infection and herpes recurrence.
The second bout was less severe than the first, possibly because she sought care more quickly, Grayson says. "She was scared stiff."
While Grayson and his colleagues acknowledge that this case is probably at the severe end of the spectrum of hair-removal complications, they nonetheless think it sounds a crucial cautionary note.
"The importance of it is that it highlights a potential new phenomenon and that is the impact of the beauty industry on patients such as this," Grayson says.
© 2007 The Halifax Herald Limited
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13, unlucky for some
Monday was my 13th (weddin g) anniversary, and there are days when it doesn't seem that long. Then again with everything that's been happening around here I feel as if I lost count. *l* Unfortunately I wasn't able to celebrate since the ol' man left earlier Monday morning because of an equipment course he'll be teaching when he gets back from Ottawa for 2 weeks.
I should know well enough by now - never make plans for anything. It doesn't matter if it is during a leave period or not. oh well...... he'll just have to make up for it when he gets home ![\](http://www.shoutpost.com/%22http://www.shoutpost.com/secure/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif/%22 "\")
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Military brats
I am a military brat & proud of it
This most definitely start some controversy, quite frankly I don't really care, and I am putting in my 2 cents.
I have found in the past when someone hears or speaks the term "military brat" people automatically assume that we are a bunch of bad tempered, temper tantrum little hooligans. This is not the case, in fact like most things that are coined or phrased is deeply rooted. Or if the (adult) person who is referring to themselves as military brats are told to grow up and become part of the real world as I was told back at the IRO's Christmas party (back in '01)
After all we are the children of warriors. And although it was initially a role not of our own choosing, it is a role perpetuated by many of us with pride. Our minds, our hearts return us time and again to the warrior path. It is an attitude, a way of being. Our souls were hammered out on the forge of discipline and dedication, of mission and service to others, of loss and sacrifice in the name of something larger than ourselves.
The word BRAT is actually an acronym which stands for:
Bold
Responsible
Adaptable
Tolerant
Strengths (and weaknesses) of military brats -
Responsibleness: Military brats take the notion of duty very seriously. They routinely give their best effort, and they do everything in their power to keep their word. There is a danger of perfectionism, which sets one up for perceived failure, then guilt and self-condemnation. Military brats also tend to take on too much responsibility and then wear themselves out trying to do everything single-handedly.
Excellent social skills: Military brats can get along with almost anybody except authoritarian types, and sometimes even with them. They tend to be very well suited to work involving a great deal of people contact, or where knowing how to quickly fit in socially is an asset. Military brats protect themselves against loss of friendship, which they tend to consider inevitable, by keeping relationships shallow and short-term. And they assume anyone in authority is an authoritarian, thus creating problems for themselves in the workplace, for instance.
Resilience (or "adaptability," "flexibility," etc.): Military brats seem to be able to cope with almost anything -- probably a combination of having moved so many times and of being, in many cases, children of alcoholics. Military brats are so good at adapting that they can become ambivalent and lose sight of their values. It becomes unclear what they really care about, where they draw the line and take a stand.
Loyalty: It would be hard for anyone to outshine a military brat when it comes to this virtue.
Willingness to take risks: Military brats rarely balk at anything new or strange, and are generally able to summon whatever it takes to leap into a new and challenging situation. There is an instinctive understanding that the worst that can happen is that the effort will fail, which in itself is a gain educationally. Military brats have taken massive losses so often that they've learned they can survive them and keep on going, it becomes easier to leap into new situations or relationships than to stay with old ones and work through the problems. Military brats might instinctively see to it that they have plenty of change and excitement in life, but they sometimes fall short on actual accomplishment.
Discipline: Those military brats who have internalised a sense of discipline to the point they enjoy controlling and focusing their energies can be extremely productive and efficient. (too often, military brat discipline is dependent on external authority -- which also triggers the will to rebel -- rather than being genuine self-discipline. They may give the impression of being very self-disciplined, but in fact are quite inconsistent, and may even go haywire for a time once external authority is removed.)
Tolerance: Having had to adapt to many situations and, in some cases, cultures, military brats often learn to appreciate different points of view and the inherent value of diversity.
Idealism: Military brats can be extremely dedicated to matters of principle and will go to extraordinary lengths to promote or defend them. This can give purpose and a depth of meaning to their lives. Also, it's not unheard of for a military brat to sacrifice way too much for the sake of principle and also known to sacrifice every sort of personal happiness -- marriage, family, career, financial security -- for the sake of making a point.
Handling crisis well: Military brats often handle emergencies with calm and competence. Others they know sense this and frequently turn to them for help. The more extreme the circumstances, the more they seem to get. Being able to pull everything together at once; knowing exactly the kinds of things that should be handled, and in what order. That is something I known I got from their fathers. (But although there isn't much of a dark side to this, it would help if military brats could learn to be better at heading off crisis in the first place. Some military brats, however, seem to thrive on crisis -- another trait common similar to adult children of alcoholics.)
On roots and "home" - The home that one makes in the spirit and the mind. And that is the home I have found, the home that is shared with other military brats. Home is not a place, but the shared experiences like a Fortress and its many legacies. Our home is hardship and what we learned from it. Our home is a rich fund of values and ideals. Our home is a special quality of freedom that one can obtain only, ironically enough, inside the ironclad Fortress.
"Home" for a rooted civilian is a place to return to so that love and values and memories and a sense of continuity can be replenished. What is found is that we military brats have a home like that too, a home that we all share, that lives in each of us, that we can visit in one another.
Real roots are about connection -- the bonding with others who share a similar lived experience -- and the recognition that who we are individually is due in large part to that lived experience.
First, beyond any doubt, our lived experiences inside the Fortress shaped and influenced us to such a degree that we bear a distinct identity as military brats and always will. We are who we are. Military brats are brave, capable, idealistic. We are seasoned by tribulation, honed by our sense of commitment.
I am proud to be a military brat, and despite the high price exacted by this lifestyle, I would have it no other way.
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Wedding survey
2. Where would you want your wedding to be held? My wedding was held outside
3. Who would be your maid of honour? Someone of my own choice.... I never had a chance to pick my own maid of honour - it was chosen for me >.<
4. Would you want a limo or a carriage? I'd choose a limo.
5. What song would you choose for the first dance between the bride and groom? "All I Ask of You" from "Phantom of the Opera" (like I had the last time)
6. Would you want to marry someone smart, funny, crazy, or in general, a hunk OR someone like Pee Wee Herman? Hmmm... Intellectual, funny, unpredictable.
7. Does the size of the diamond ring really matter? No, it doesn't matter, something small and tasteful - nothing to large or godly
8. Would you wear a lime green dress on your wedding if you were paid enough money?
Let's think about this for a second, shall we.... I have flaming red hair and you want me to wear a lime green dress? o_O o_O o_O O_o O_o O_o I'll look like a bloody Christmas tree *whispers * It's not gonna happen!
9. If so, would you choose lime green pumps to match, or settle for the classic white heels to be somewhat traditional? Shoes, either white or black... I'm not wearing green. I don't have a problem with the colour Green
10. Have you ever been at a wedding? just my own.
11. If so, did you actually get to participate or just attended as a guest? Why wouldn't I participate it was my wedding of course.
12. What age do you think you're going to get married? I was 20 when I got married - so it was just about right.
13. What theme would you make your wedding? Formal dress, me in white..hubby in uniform. All serving members of the Canadian Armed Forces (Bridal Party and guests included) were to wear full Summer Dress uniform - not only a request, but the proper thing to do. (Don't ya just love a man in uniform *^_^ )
14. Do you think that having swan shaped ice as center-pieces may be a bit too much?
No way the ice would melt before the actual "I do's"
15. Do you think a blender or a toaster oven is a good wedding present? I guess so - first I'd find out if "they" needed one, 'cos I got an electric frying pan for a wedding gift.
16. Would you attend an acquaintance wedding, even if you don't really know the person? Probably
17. Would you give them a good present?. Of course, but it wouldn't be an electrical appliance, something a little more appropriate.
18. Would you be bitter if your best friend chose her cousin, whom she barely ever sees, over you to be the maid of honor? Not in the slightest, family should come first
19. How many people would be in the wedding party? In my wedding party (aside from hubby and myself), best man, ring bearer, matron of honour, 2 brides maids, and 2 flower girls
20. Any ethnic festivities being thrown in? We had a somewhat traditional Military Wedding - just think of it... A group of sailors and a couple ground-types at a wedding reception having a good time. Come to think of it, I think there was also an air-type there too
21. Who would give you away? Both my parents
22. If any, where would the overseas guest(s) be from? Kinda, my father-in-law had just got back from Bosnia 3 days before the wedding.
23. Would you have the traditional almond favors? Uh.....no
24. Would you want a Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter wedding? I had a Summer wedding
25. What month? July 2, 1994 - we wanted to get married on July 1st (Canada Day) but the 1st was a Friday and it was the Sabbath and there was no way that the rabbis (friend's parents) could make it anyway. Besides, the next day was better being a Saturday and all.
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Random 7's
1. Spiders
2. Other creepy crawlies
3. Heights anything taller than the Trade Mart building
4. My untimely Death - not that I'm gonna die anytime soon
5. Death of a loved one
6. Not being loved
7. Being alone even if there is someone else in the room
Seven things that make you laugh:
1. British comedians (Monty Python, Rowan Atkinson, Billy Connolly, etc...)
2. Talkin with my online co-conspirators (they know who they are *-_^ )
3. Stand-up Comedy
4. Comedies (in general)
5. eCards that my husband sends me
6. My kids when they are trying to cheer me up
7. My overactive imagination
Seven things you love:
1. My family
2. Coffee
3. Chocolate
4. Cheesecake
5. Laughter
6. Music
7. Drawing/artwork
Seven things you hate:
1. Shallow people
2. Childless people always dissing people who do children (I know that not everyone likes children, but that's no reason to act prissy)
3. Military bashing
4. STRESS
5. My weight, Did I forget to mention my weight, Oh yeah, my weight
6. Bleeding heart liberals
7. Math word problems
Seven things you don't understand:
1. The "Goth Scene"
2. A Mosh pit?
3. Childless people always dissing people who do children (I know that not everyone likes children, but that's no reason to act prissy)
4. Ignorant, racist, repugnant people
5. Again with the word problems
6. Why we as a society still pay income tax
7. When the weather report is given it's always forecasted for around theairport. Haven't these morons figured out that nobody leaves by the airport.
Seven things on your desk:
1. Computer
2. Speakers
3. Router
4. Writing implements pens, pencils, markers (sure some of the don't work, but I hate to toss things
5. Hubby's pet bunny (naturally it's a toy one) I got him on his first NATO
6. CD's
7. Misc. junk
Right now you are:
1. Stressed
2. Bored stiff, other than suffering from insomnia
3. Listening to "Courage & Patience & Grit" by Great Big Sea
4. Trying to figure out if I want to clean or hire a maid *^_^ *lol*
5. wrapped up in hubby's big yellow blankie
6. Patiently waiting for the rain to stop
7. Sitting by the glow of my monitor
Seven facts about you:
1. I'm a nice person, but not many want to get to know me
2. My self confidence has taken a real beating over the years
3. Be able to lash out when things start to bother me - and not be criticised
4. I'm an only child
5. Being able to get over certain fears (not listed)
6. being able to loose my stress-induced weight
7. Want to learn to Stand-up Comedian
Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Get a decent job
2. Visit NYC, London, England (okay, the UK in general), New Zealand/Austraila
3. Go out and just blow my money on useless things without worrying about it afterwards
4. Earn enough money to be comfy and make sure the kids education is taken care of
5. Buy hubby a new computer among other things
6. Meet my online co-cospirators
7. Go to Europe and look for family members (alive and dead)
Seven Famous People You Want To Meet:
1. Craig Parker
2. Marton Csokas
3. Hugo Weaving
4. Billy Boyd
5. Patrick Stewart
6. Sean Connery
7. Billy Connolly
Seven songs people should give a listen:
1. Captain Wedderburn - Great Big Sea
2. Jack Hinks - Great Big Sea
3. Lukey - Great Big Sea
4. Ordinary Day - Great Big Sea
5. Consequence Free - Great Big Sea
6. Shines Right Through Me - Great Big Sea
7. Something Beautiful - Great Big Sea
Seven movies you watch all the time:
1. "The Lord of the Rings" (trilogy)
2. "The Tommyknockers"
3. "bedrooms and Hallways"
4. "The Matrix"
5. "Aeon Flux"
6. "Kingdon of Heaven"
7. "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"
8. "V for Vendetta" (okay, I sneaked this one in for good measure *^_^ )
Top seven things you say the most when annoyed:
1. Exsqueeze me/you
2. Do you really want me to say something really cutting? Now don't ya!
3. Bloody Hell
4. Right?
5. I don't think so
6. Bollocks!
7. Not in this fucking lifetime
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Naval Muster
I remember standing at quarters one morning while stationed aboard the USS Androit.
Lieutenant Montgomery was doing the muster.
"JACKSON?"
"Here!"
"KIBBEY?"
"Yo."
"STEPHENS?"
"Present, sir."
"SEEBACK?"
Nothing.
"SEEBACK?!"
Still nothing.
"DAMMIT, SEEBACK!"
As the division Chief I whispered into the Lieutenant's ear,
"Sir, turn the paper over."
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Woman
Was made from the rib of man
She was not created
From his head~
To top him
Nor from his feet~
To be stepped upon.
She was made
From his side~
To be equal to him;
From beneath his arm~
To be protected by him;
Near his heart~
To be loved by him.
~ Anonymous
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The Military Wife
The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order?
She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head, "Six pairs of hands? No way." The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, "I understand," when she doesn't and say, "I love you" regardless." "Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently, "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."
"I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave goodbye to her husband from a pier, or runway and understand why it's important that he leave."
The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft." "She might look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."
Finally, the angel ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model." The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence. "What you see is not a leak," he said. "It's a tear." A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."
"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel. The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."
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Happy 4th of July
Happy Independence Day!!!!
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I Am Canadian
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!
Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America
My name is Joe!!
And I am Canadian!!!
http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm
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Coo-Roo-Coo-Coo-Coo-Roo-Coo-Coo!!
Happy Canada Day, eh!
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Words used mainly in Canadian English
ABM, bank machine: synonymous with ATM (which is also used).
bachelor: bachelor apartment ("They have a bachelor for rent").
chesterfield: originally British and internationally used (as in classic furnishing terminology) to refer to a sofa whose arms are the same height as the back, it is a common term for any couch or sofa in Canada (and, to some extent, Northern California).The more international terms sofa and couch are also used; among younger generations in the western and central regions, chesterfield is largely in decline.
double-double: a cup of coffee with two creams and two sugars. And by the same token, triple-triple.
eavestroughs: rain gutters. Also used, especially in the past, in the Northern and Western U.S.; the first recorded usage is in Herman Melville's Moby-
Dick: "The tails tapering down that way, serve to carry off the water, d'ye see. Same with cocked hats; the cocks form gable-end eave-troughs, Flask."
eh: a spoken interjection to ascertain the comprehension, continued interest, agreement, etc., of the person or persons addressed ("That was a good game last night, eh?"). May also be used instead of "huh?" or "what?" meaning "please repeat or say again." Frequently mis-represented by Americans as A, or hey.
fire hall: fire station, firehouse.
height of land: a drainage divide. Originally American.
Hoser: An uncouth, beer drinking man. Used extensively in Bob and Doug Mackenzie skits.
humidex: measurement used by meteorologists to reflect the combined effect of heat and humidity.
hydro: a common synonym for electrical service. Many Canadian provincial electric companies generate power from hydroelectricity, and incorporate the term "Hydro" in their names: Toronto Hydro, Hydro Ottawa, etc. Usage: "Manitoba Hydro... It's not just a Power Company anymore."; "How long did you work for Hydro?" "When's Hydro gonna get the lines back up."; "The hydro bill is due on the fifteenth."; "I didn't pay my hydro bill so they shut off my lights." Hence hydrofield, a line of electricity transmission towers, usually in groups cutting across a city, and hydro lines/poles, electrical transmission lines/poles.
loonie: Canadian one dollar coin. Derived from the use of the loon on the reverse.
parkade: a parking garage, especially in the West.
pencil crayon: coloured pencil origin: bilingual package label Pencil (English) Crayon (French word for pencil).
pogie: term referring to employment insurance.
runners: running shoes, sneakers, especially in Central Canada. Also used somewhat in Australian English.
toonie: Canadian two dollar coin. Modelled after loonie. Also spelled tooney, twooney, twoonie, twonie, or twoney.
tuque: a knitted winter hat, often with a pompon on the crown. Sometimes spelled toque.
washroom: the general term for what is normally named public toilet or lavatory in Britain. In the U.S. (where it originated) mostly replaced by restroom in the 20th century. Generally used only as a technical or commercial term outside of Canada. The word bathroom is also used.
Tin (as in tin of tuna): for can, especially among older speakers. Among younger speakers, can is more common, with tin referring to a can which is wider than it is tall.
Cutlery: for silverware or flatware.
Serviette: for a table napkin, though this is fast being changed to the latter.
Tap: conspicuously more common than faucet in everyday usage.
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