Things Trek Characters Would Say in Hell

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a coal-shoveler!"

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Janeway: "Excuse me, Satan? You want to get out of my face?"
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Hoard of Beautiful, Sex-Starved Women: "Oh! Our love-slave has arrived!"
Kim: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Garak: "Well, I think I can probably find something here that will make it all -- wait! Is this suit polyester?? AHHHHHHHHHH!"
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Data: "Yeah, yeah. I know. Wear the pink outfit and sit in my chair."
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Seven: "I fail to understand why the only available nourishment here is chocolate bon-bons, ice-cream and beer. And why has my outfit become so tight?"
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Tuvok: "I see. So it's either that I must agree to say, 'Oh, Captain Proton, you're such a wonderful specimen of the best of in each of us, and oh, how I wish I could be you,' or I get thrown into the vat of burning tar...How long do I have to decide?"
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Chakotay: "Hey! That jewelry looks like it was made from the bones of my dead ancestors!"
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Torres: "Oh! At last! My feet are warm!"
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Picard: "Mrs. Troi, would you PLEASE get your hand off my ass?"
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Damar: What! Only Shirley Temples? NOOOO!
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Kira: Dukat is to be my eternal comanion? I don't think so.
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Sisko: I'm the Emissary. What am I doing here?
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Damar to Dukat: I'd like to to toss that little schmuck Vorta...Hell, there are no airlocks, sir!
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Member of Species 8472: "Raghkneakyawlrowlfhaf!!"
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Tom Paris: Hey B'Elanna, it beats that ice cube enviroment we were in together!
B'Elanna: Shut up you P'tuQ helmboy!
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Borg Queen: Um, excuse me, but why can't I assimalate anyone? That's not fair! MMMMMOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!
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Innocent security dude: Hey I didn't wanna die yet! I gotta find out if there really was a thing between
Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway!
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Lore: Ahh. Home sweet home!
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Garak: Would you mind adjusting the humidity? My scales are flaking!
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Dukat: Ziyal, stop looking at me like like that...AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
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Dumar: What do you mean the only thing to drink is water?!
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Dukat: Hey, why aren't I ascending to heaven? Oh yeah, the sins...
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Ziyal: By the way, it's Ziyal, Z-I-Y-A-L, OK?! Oops! I blew a blood gasket, hold on a second...
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Anyone: "Engineering! What's up with the environmental controls?"
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Q: ::snap...nothing happens:: "Hey! What happened to my omnipotence?"
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Harry: "Anyone want to hear the new tune I composed on my clarinet? It's called The Hellish Blues."
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Wesley (to the devil): "Can I look around your bridge?"
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Picard: "Oh no! The only people in sight are all...children!!!!! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!"
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Tuvok: "Mister Neelix, I did not expect to see you in such a position of...responsibility."
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Janeway: What do you mean you only have tea?
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Harry: Hey, what is this place?
Satan: Oh, hell. What's he doing here?
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Chakotay: Does this mean that I really screwed up? Hey, where's Kathryn?
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Ziyal: (nervously) "Daddy?"
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Kira: "There's no Hell in Bajoran theology."
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Dukat: "Satan, buddy! Give me five!"
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Kes: "I am so outta here. Anyone need a push before I leave?"
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Tom: "Hey, Dad."
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Tuvok: "Greetings, T'Pel. It has been a long, long, LONG time. What's with the football helmet and oven mitts?"
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Harry: "It was a lot quieter the last time I was here."
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McCoy: "Well, you did once tease him about looking like Satan."
Kirk: "It was just a joke. And why is he leering at me like that?"
McCoy: "I don't know, but better you than--uh oh."
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Dax: "Hmm, deja vu."
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Odo: "I'm melting!!! I'm melting!!"
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Bashir: "Kukalaka, no!!!"
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Worf: (sees all his dead wives/girl-friends) "No!!!!!"
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Seven: "Hell is irrelevant. Damn it's hot...Where is that zipper?"
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Chakotay: "My people have a saying..."
Janeway: "Nooo! Nooo! Make him stop, PLEEEEASE!"
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Picard: "Q, show yourself."
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Picard: "What do you mean you only have coffee?"
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Spock: "Now, where did I put those marshmelons? Ahhh, there they are...hold still, Doctor..."
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a marsh melon dispenser!"
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Ezri: "Hey! HELP! Get me out of this barrel of gagh!"
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Tom: "Excuse me, B'Elanna, I -- wait a second -- why are you in the Captain's sonic shower singing 'Feel Like Makin' Love?'"
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Worf: "OK, who's the wiseguy who put Teletubbies in my calisthenics program!?"
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Kirk: "ALIMONY??"
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Jadzia: "Oh, crap. They replaced me with Ally McTrill!"
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Quark: "Morn joined Syntheholics Anonymous?! I'm ruined!!"
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Brunt, FCA: "Grand Nagus QUARK??"
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Janeway: "Great. We make it all the way back to Earth and Starbucks is out of business!"
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Picard: "WHAT??? Even less hair???"
Deanna Troi: "WHAT??? Even more hair???"
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Wesley: "Why am I in hell????"
Satan: "Oh nooo, it's that Crusher!!!! Since when am I the one being punished???"
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The EMH-Doctor: "D-o-o-o-n-'-t-t t-t-o-u-c-h-h-h t-h-h-a-a-at off-f-f b-b-bu-u-ut-t-t-o-n-n-n !-!-!"
Data: "M-m-m-i-i-in-ne-e ei-th-th-the-r-r-r-r.-.-.-"

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Galadhriel (2007-06-21)
*rofl*

Mary Mary Quite Contrary (2007-06-20)
This is great! "Q, show yourself." ROFLOL!!!!!!!

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